


Opening Up About Life

by Autumnalhogwarts



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, discussion of body image, discussion of scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 08:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumnalhogwarts/pseuds/Autumnalhogwarts
Summary: Neil Josten gets invited to talk about body positivity on a podcast





	Opening Up About Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is in the form of a podcast transcript which is kind of weird to read.  
> Also, I know Nora said they'd "Come Out" when they win gold at the Olympics, but I feel like that's too big for them.

The Whit Report

Episode 115 Transcript - Monday, September 19, 2016

Whitney Hayes: Hello and welcome back to The Whit Report! My name is Whitney Hayes and this week we are all about Body Positivity! My first guest Olympic gold medalist Neil Josten! Welcome Neil, how are you today?

Neil: Yah I’m well thanks

Whitney: I’m honestly so surprised you had the time to sit down with me, you just participated in the Olympics last month and you’re only a couple weeks out from the start of the Exy season.

Neil: Not gunna lie, Whitney, I was going to turn this down. But I asked the OG Foxes if they’d heard of you and Renee told me I had to talk to you so here I am. She’s a huge fan of the show, and of your message, and when Renee Walker asks you to do something you don't question it.

Whitney: That is... Wow okay, I’m a bit nervous now... for anyone who doesn’t know Renee Walker is a big humanitarian in New York City, she’s done work all around the world and recently started a program for foster children in NYC. I had no idea she was a fan.

Neil: Well there’s more than one way to help someone and you’re working to change stigmas, that’s a big deal to us.

Whitney: Us being?

Neil: The Foxes. Once a fox always a fox. We all had to fight to get where we are today, and people like you make that fight a little easier.

Whitney: I don’t... that’s... Thank you, Neil. That means a lot to me.

Neil: Just stating a fact.

Whitney: So... this week is all about body positivity. I wanted you as my first guess because you’ve never spoken out on the topic, but you’re a huge inspiration. You’ve never shied away from cameras or the spotlight, and you seem genuinely confident in interviews.

Neil: Hmm... I think with that you’re missing a lot of behind the scenes action. I have shied away from cameras, and I rarely accept one on one interviews. I’ve been in front of cameras constantly for about nine years now and never done a shirtless photo shoot for example. My face is always on show and people tend to forget that’s just the beginning.          

Whitney: Would you say you’re confident in your body then?

Neil: Most of the time yes. Everyone has bad days where you just don’t like something about yourself, but for the most part, I’m pretty good. It took a long time to get here, ya know? And I still change out separate from my teammates, but that’s generally for their sake and not mine.

Whitney: For your teammate's sake?

Neil: Yeah, I’m not the only one on either of my teams with a difficult past and it’s just easier for everyone to do it this way. And I don’t need pity from them, which tends to happen.

Whitney: Ahh yeah pity’s not a fun one. Does that make your relationships more difficult then? I can’t imagine you putting up with pity from your friends.

Neil: Nah my friends know I don't need that shit... wait am I allowed to swear here?

Whitney: Oh yeah totally! Say whatever the fuck you want.

Neil: Okay good because this would be awkward otherwise.

Whitney: Does that affect your dating life then? You said earlier that you’re pretty confident most days, but I’d image not knowing how someone will respond would be nerve-racking either way.  

Neil: Ha dating. That’s so funny. No Whit I’m married. Five years last month actually.

Whitney: Oh I was not aware of that.

Neil: It’s probably Exy’s best-kept secret. It’s nice though. We’re both very private people and enough of our lives are public knowledge, we don’t need to add to it.

Whitney: But you’re okay talking about it here?

Neil: Yes and no. I’m not going to tell you any details about my partner, or my relationship really, but we are talking about my confidence and my spouse is a huge part of that.

Whitney: Would you mind explaining that a little bit? I’d ask you a specific question, but I’m not sure how to do that and still respect your privacy.

Neil: I brought it up so yeah I’ll explain it. We met when I was 18 before... and they can’t see me gesturing.... awesome... anyway I was 18 which is before my face and arms got fucked up, but my back and chest were already a mess by then so what I really needed was someone who wouldn’t flinch. My coach at the time and the team physician both saw pretty early on and they both had fairly strong reactions. At that point, I wasn’t willing to let anyone else see, because if two professionals who have seen some shit can't take it, then who can? Ya know?

Whitney: That sounds really lonely...

Neil: Maybe, but lonely is safe. But then this kid, who’d I’d known for maybe 8 months, see’s one day, and has no reaction. Yeah, we were friends, and they knew I wouldn’t respond well to them getting upset about it, but just no reaction. It was incredible. They asked a couple questions and touched a couple scars but there was no judgment or disgust there, just acceptance. Then a few months later after... everything... I came back cut up and burnt and my whole team reacted strongly, but this kid sat in front of me like the eye of a storm. No reaction. Just acceptance again. I couldn't shower by myself for like two weeks, we’d been kind of casually together for a couple months at that point, and having to have them literally bathe me should have been embarrassing but every day I was met with genuine calm. And I wasn’t embarrassed at all.

Whitney: That’s really beautiful.

Neil: Yeah I have an amazing partner.

Whitney: Was that the start of your self-acceptance?

Neil: Kind of. It’s not that simple. I had a lot of trouble looking in the mirror for a long time. My teammates told me I was super hot and I got asked out occasionally, but that didn’t matter to me because they weren’t seeing the whole picture. But this one idiot did see the whole picture and stayed and if they could do that then I could start looking in the mirror. Then the summer after my junior year I was feeling a bit better, like more confident, so we talked to the people we were spending the summer with and we all spent like a month shirtless. I was still getting used to my own skin and they all helped make that seem normal.

Whitney: No offense, but did you just call your partner an idiot?

Neil: Yes. Anyone who would look at the mess I was at 18 and go ‘oh yeah I want to spend the rest of my life with that kid’ is an idiot. They know it’s true, don't worry.

Whitney: That’s fair... anyway, not to change the subject, but let’s get back to the script here.

Neil: Sounds good to me

Whitney: As part of accepting your body have you done any modification? Like piercings, tattoos, ya know?

Neil: yeah I actually have five tattoos

Whitney: That’s awesome! What are they and when did you get them?

Neil: That’s between me, *bleep* and my tattoo artist. FUCK I did not mean to say that!

Whitney: I have a rule against bleeping things out on my podcast but I’ll make an exception here.

Neil: Thank you so much! It means a lot.  

Whitney: No problem, so you don’t want to talk about them?

Neil: I’ll talk about a couple of them, they’re all pretty personal and I’m not going to get into that here.

Whitney: Of course, of course, whatever you're comfortable with.

Neil: I have a watercolor Fox on my hip, all the foxes from my freshman year have the same tattoo in the same place.

Whitney: Oh? Even Andrew Minyard?

Neil: Yeah, even Minyard. Some of the newer Foxes have also gotten Fox tats, but we didn’t share the design so theirs are different.  Then I have a key on the inside of my left elbow, a word on the top of my left foot, and a paw print on my chest.

Whitney: That’s only four.

Neil: Yes it is.

Whitney: Hmm I see. Okay, next question, who is your best friend?

Neil: Andrew Minyard.

Whitney: Andrew Minyard is your best friend?

Neil: Absolutely.

Whitney: How does that work? Not trying to pry here, but from what I’ve seen you two hate each other.

Neil: I still don’t understand why everyone got all worked up about this rivalry thing. That's just how we talk to each other, and what's a little competition between friends? Besides I trash talk Kevin, Matt, Jean, Allison, a bunch of other friends like that on court and twitter too.

Whitney: Are you saying you're naturally antagonistic?

Neil: Finally someone who understands.

Whitney: This may not be my place, but I think people latched onto the Minyard-Josten Rivalry so much because both of you have violent pasts.

Neil: Unfortunately you’re probably right. I don’t care what people think most of the time, but sometimes it gets to me that we are both labeled that way when neither of us have a criminal record.

Whitney: You don’t? The word on the streets is that you do and I’m fairly certain Minyard does.

Neil: Juvie records are sealed and I’ve never been charged with a crime. Go ahead and do a criminal background check, literally nothing will come up. I’ve never been so much as pulled over, and Andrew’s hasn’t gotten a ticket since he was 19.

Whitney: Wow

Neil: People see what they want to see. They look at us and see a monster. Regardless of what the evidence says. The ironic part is he has the temper of a saint. I think I’ve seen him angry maybe 5 times in the 10 years I’ve known him. And he has never been involved in an on-court fight.

Whitney: That’s really interesting and kind of sad. I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of believing the media when it comes to you and  Minyard. I think I need to do some self-reflection about this.

Neil: Eh we’re used to it, not like one interview is going to change shit.

Whitney: I’m sorry... ummm... We’re almost out of time here can we end on a more positive note?

Neil: Sounds good to me.

Whitney: So Neil, the Olympics. You played third string in 2012, what was it like to be starting Striker this year?

Neil: It was incredible, I got to start off with all my friends! Kevin was my partner, Jonesie dealing, Jean and Jeremy as my backliners, and Andrew in goal. I literally could not have come up with a better team.

Whitney: Was it stressful going out there knowing the whole world was watching?

Neil: No not at all, I was surrounded by some of my closest friends, it was the most exciting thing I’ve ever done!

Whitney: And you did amazing! US took gold for the first time ever! No doubt it’s all thanks to the fact that the team is just a giant group of friends!

Neil: I sure hope so.

Whitney: Well that it’s for today on The Whit Report! My name is Whitney Hayes and my friend today is Neil Josten! This week will be all about Body Positivity, I hope you enjoyed day one!

**Author's Note:**

> Neil's Tattoos: the word on the top of his foot it STAY and the last one he refused to mention is AJM on his ring finger right under his wedding ring.


End file.
